Watching the petrol gauge I wait and miraculously the tank is almost full. The motor turns and the radio also comes to life, the disc jockey’s voice is loud and instantly familiar. I reach to switch it off but I fumble, making it louder and in order to deaden the banter I kill the engine.
Still a little flustered, I tug at the key but it won’t shift. It is jammed in the lock. I pull my hands away from the wheel and push back in the seat, convinced it is broken and that it won’t start again. I squint through the windscreen at the car parked in front and turning I check behind and find that the car, like the key, is stuck and I am trapped. I can’t move and I haven’t any choice but to sit and wait.
I could abandon the car and walk and of course eventually I will be forced to do just that. I don’t have any money and I have left my wallet in the house with the cash and credit cards, that for a spell at least would still work, but I won’t go back inside, not again.
Anyhow, I have fuel, granted it will only last for so long and take me just so far but it feels like enough and I want to make this last long drive and so I stay put.


8 thoughts on “GHOST LETTER 14

  1. Mark,

    Your “Ghost Letters” are always so wonderful. I find them cleverly devised and intriguing, especially in the way you are able to describe how emotionally fragile we can be at times, and our personal struggles as we deal with certain situations. This “Ghost Letter 14” so far is perhaps one of my favorites, with the frustration building click by click, until almost being emotionally paralyzed “so I stay put”. Part of me wonders if it’s a form of lackluster stubbornness or just self-defeating behavior. Thank you for a great read this morning!

    Take care,

  2. Excellent writing, Mark. This ‘chapter’, for me, works as an extended metaphor for feeling both trapped and isolated: we long to convince ourselves that there is a way out, and that only we are capable of finding it, yet we always come full circle and end up where we started from.
    Deep and yet hugely enjoyable, Mark.

    1. The photo is one of Christine’s, as many of them are. I gave her outline of what I was working on and she came up with this for me. I am lucky to have her and her camera at my disposal. I am delighted, as a fan of your work, that this post pulled you in. Thanks and regards Mark.

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