PROSE ROAD PR7

Sign of the Times-0103 Image by Christine Renney

He couldn’t walk any longer
On the verge and so
He stepped out onto
The road
Its surface like rapid water
And he began to sink
But joining with the others
In the ungainly procession
He quickly learned how and
Stopped reaching

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14 thoughts on “PROSE ROAD PR7

  1. chrisnelson61 January 30, 2015 / 4:48 pm

    A powerful, extended metaphor, which makes me wonder how easily we lose our passion to stand against the expected. A suitably stark image too. A stirring piece.

    • markrenney1 January 31, 2015 / 12:26 pm

      The pressure to conform seems to be emerging as a theme in my writing at the moment. Thank you for such an insightful comment Chris. By the way and hopefully not too intrusive, do you teach and if so what subject(s)? Regards Mark.

      • chrisnelson61 January 31, 2015 / 11:08 pm

        Funny, sometimes, how themes do seem to invade our thoughts! Yes, I do teach – I work in a primary school in Dudley, so it’s a bit of ‘Jack of all trades’. At college my subject was English (don’t know whether this comes across!) But, apart from when I’m on ‘crowd-control’, it’s great to be able to follow other areas of interest. Anyway, enough about me! Your asking is no imposition – provided you keep on coming up with such fine writing! My best to you both. Chris.

  2. Tony Single January 31, 2015 / 5:52 am

    This feels like the protagonist has compromised himself in order to fit in. (Or this is merely what I’m bringing to the piece, and it’s about something else entirely.) 🙂

    • markrenney1 January 31, 2015 / 12:32 pm

      You are right Tony. Our world is trying to squeeze out the differences and this is influencing my writing. Thanks for commenting, Mark.

  3. field of thorns January 31, 2015 / 7:09 pm

    Mark, I’m always in awe of your writing and your writing style. This is marvelous! Everything has a very black and white feel to it. A late 50’s early ’60 and I do mean this in such a good way! Your words here remind me of a desperate “He” trying to reach and grasp at anything to keep him from going under, yet he finally succumbs to the inevitable, thus joining all the others before him. This is just my read. Wow, gives me the chills. Really terrific!

    Pepperanne

    • Joseph Nebus February 1, 2015 / 4:40 am

      I’m not sure I could quantify why it is, but yes, your description of this as having a late 50s/early 60s feel does seem right.

      • markrenney1 February 1, 2015 / 5:12 pm

        I did not have a particular era in mind and it intrigues me that both you and Pepperanne get the same feel. Perhaps there is a noirish element to the series although it may be more of the Cold War seeping in for you? Thanks for taking the time to comment. – always appreciated. Regards Mark.

      • Joseph Nebus February 3, 2015 / 10:25 am

        Yes, perhaps it is an element of Cold War feeling — I’m too young for the height of the Cold War, but was right there as an impressionable kid for its last surge of intensity — that’s seeping into the poem.

    • markrenney1 February 1, 2015 / 5:08 pm

      Another interesting take on my writing from you and thank you so much for that. It means a lot. Regards Mark.

  4. Geo Sans February 12, 2015 / 4:42 am

    instinct
    learning the
    dead man’s float

  5. markrenney1 February 12, 2015 / 7:33 pm

    We are the herd.

  6. Carl D'Agostino February 24, 2015 / 11:00 am

    He quickly learned how and
    Stopped reaching

    “Reach for the stars but keep your feet on the ground.” – Theodore Roosevelt

  7. markrenney1 February 24, 2015 / 3:28 pm

    But so many of us forget how. Thanks Carl.

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